AFK Without Coffee Tee

You're standing in the kitchen. Staring into space. Someone is talking to you.

You can hear them. Technically.

But your brain? AFK.

-80 social skills. -60 response time. +200 vacant staring.

Before coffee, you're running on low battery with no active quests and absolutely no intention of loading. You are, for all practical purposes, completely offline.

Then someone hands you a coffee.

SYSTEM ONLINE.

The AFK Without Coffee Tee is for anyone whose personality doesn't load until caffeine enters the server. Wear it as a warning. Wear it as an excuse. Wear it so people know you're currently unavailable for conversation, decisions or basically anything requiring a functioning brain.

Coffee isn't the pause button. It's the reconnect button.

• 100% ring-spun cotton — comfortable enough for extended AFK periods
• 4.5 oz/yd² (153 g/m²) — lightweight but sturdy
• Double-stitched neckline and sleeves — built for daily respawns
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping — clean, comfortable fit
• Unisex fit — sizes S to 3XL
• Available in 13 colours

⚠️ Disclaimer: Ka-fey Cafe accepts no responsibility for staring blankly, delayed responses, unresponsive human behaviour or sudden personality activation after coffee.