NPC Without Coffee Tee

You're standing there.

Someone asks you a question. You hear the words. You process nothing.

You have entered NPC mode.

No inner monologue. No opinions. No side quests. Just a blank expression and a pre-programmed response that doesn't quite fit the situation.

Before coffee, you're not a main character. You're not even a supporting role. You're the villager standing by the fountain who says the same thing every time someone walks past.

Then coffee happens.

DIALOGUE UNLOCKED. PERSONALITY RESTORED.

The NPC Without Coffee Tee is for anyone who needs caffeine before they can run their own storyline. Wear it so people know not to initiate conversation. Wear it as a warning. Wear it because at least the NPC gets to stand still and say nothing without being judged.

Coffee isn't a power-up. It's what makes you a playable character.

• 100% ring-spun cotton — comfortable enough for standing around doing nothing
• 4.5 oz/yd² (153 g/m²) — lightweight but sturdy
• Double-stitched neckline and sleeves — built for repeated daily dialogue
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping — clean, comfortable fit
• Unisex fit — sizes S to 3XL
• Available in 13 colours

⚠️ Disclaimer: Ka-fey Cafe accepts no responsibility for blank stares, repetitive responses, failure to advance the plot or general lack of character development before coffee.