P(doom) Without Coffee Tee

Current forecast: an 87% chance the day goes sideways, and 100% of the cause is that the coffee hasn't landed yet. The remaining 13% is reserved for surprise meetings.

The P(doom) Without Coffee Tee is for the ones who run the numbers before the caffeine does. Every knock at the door is an omen, every unread email a bad sign, every printer a prophecy. Not paranoid. Just uncaffeinated and statistically informed.

One decent flat white later and the model updates: doom probability drops, optimism ticks up, and the printer goes back to being just a printer.

Best displayed wherever moods are being monitored. It won't change the odds, but it explains them.

100% ring-spun cotton — soft enough to shift the odds on its own
Lightweight but sturdy
Unisex fit — sizes S to 2XL
Available in 12 colours

⚠️ Risk assessment: doom probability approaches zero after two shots. Findings not peer reviewed, but repeatedly observed.

Age restrictions: For adults
EU Warranty: 2 years
Other compliance information: Meets the flammability, lead, cadmium, phthalates and formaldehyde level requirements.

In compliance with the General Product Safety Regulation (GPSR), Saute Simmer T/A Ka-fey cafe and SINDEN VENTURES LIMITED ensure that all consumer products offered are safe and meet EU standards. For any product safety related inquiries or concerns, please contact our EU representative at gpsr@sindenventures.com. You can also write to us at 148 Hunter Street, Newcastle, 2300, NSW, Australia or Markou Evgenikou 11, Mesa Geitonia, 4002, Limassol, Cyprus.